And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You dont lie about slip and slides
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
