MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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