I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
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