my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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