she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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