Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
