i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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