shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
