Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
