Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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