I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
