You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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