are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
