My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
