What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
