FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
