There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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