got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
