i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
