i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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