the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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