Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
