Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He shit in the fireplace
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
