im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
