Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I need a beard to bite.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
