I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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