i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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