I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
