you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
