my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
