I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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