One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
