Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
They took my balls.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
