She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
