Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
