And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
