I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize