oh god the rape fog is back!
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
