There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Randomize
