I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
