the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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