I faked an abortion last night.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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