Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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