People in love make me want to vomit
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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