I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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