ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize