i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
