i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
