I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
