Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
